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Chapter 6: Child's Slay
Stavo's expression faltered, the water running down his back. "What did he show you?"
Brooke was quiet for a while, the only sound the water gurgling from the taps.
"...did Micah know about him?"
It was the wrong question, she felt, and yet it was the first one that came to mind. In that moment, she supposed it was the only one she cared about, and she couldn't help but hate herself a little for asking it.
And yet she was not sorry she had.
Stavo took a deep breath, keeping his head low.
Finally, he spoke up. "Yeah. Yeah, I told him." Stavo paused, before defensively adding, "If you think I killed Micah because he knew about Zio, you're dead wrong. I-I don't even know why else you're bringing Micah into this. Or Zio. Both of them, ghosts now. Irrelevant. Sad but true."
"I'm bringing it up because it is relevant, Stavo! Because you never told me, because...because after all the ugly, sad embarrassing shit we did together, you...you never..." she broke off, "I was always telling you, I was always telling you I didn't mind, I'd let you have your secrets, because I have mine, but I was just bullshitting myself. Because I did wonder and I do know and I..." she faltered, "I want to know, Stavo. Because if it's something important and...and if we're really serious about this whole thing, if it isn't just another joke, another act..."
She lost her words, "If he was irrelevant, if he really doesn't matter anymore, Stavo, you never would have told Micah about him," she paused, "And you wouldn't have drawn him. But you must have felt something, you must have cared, and I don't know what you think you're doing pretending you didn't..."
Wrapping her arms around herself as if to cover her nakedness, she continued, "You can admit you loved him. You can admit if you thought you did. You can admit if he did and you didn't because guess what, Stavo, I've been there. Love and love unrequited and...every ugly, messy stop on that route. And call me a selfish little bitch, but I don't get why you didn't tell me. It's one thing if you never told anybody, but...you did. So I can't help but wonder what I did wrong."
Aleks stared at the guns, shaking her head before holding her hand out for one of them.
"Well if we all get one, best find a place to keep it all hidden until we can get out of here safely." She said, looking between Zach and Ryan. Sure things were crazy right now, and she wanted to get the hell out of there and back home with Zach and their friends if possible.
She looked over at the guys, shaking her head some.
***
Deanna pulled her knife from her pocket, holding it out. "And why wouldn't I have my knife on me? I hate not being prepared."
-Aleks, Deanna
"Ryan, uh...this is nice and all," Zach began tentatively, "But I don't know how to..."
"Dude, you think any of these cranky gun nuts know how to shoot?" asked Ryan.
"Well, I mean..."
"Guns are good for two things: killing people and making them think you're hard. Nine times outta ten, all you need is the second one."
There was a long silence before Zach vocalized the first of the many, many thoughts that had been swirling around in his head.
"...hard?"
"You'll get there eventually," Ryan looked from one to the other, "Point is, the guns are all show, if anybody tries fuckin' with us. As for getting away..." he turned to Aleks, "Give me one reason not to book it right the hell now. There's nobody looking for us, it's as close to daylight as it's gonna get..."
"Well, the rain..."
Ryan cocked an eyebrow. Zach trailed off, "It's a long way."
"And longer the longer we wait."
He turned to Aleks, "Any objections, Platinum?"
-Ryan and Zach
Aleks reached out and took one of the guns, before she took hold of Zach's hand with her free one. "We need to go...before we all die."
Her platinum hair cascaded over her face slightly, not sure how else she could explain it. She knew they had to go, but could they risk trying to find everyone else at the time? Or could they all make it out alive if they were in a big group?
"If we find anyone else on the way out of here...we tell them to come with us, otherwise we run and we run fast."
She wouldn't risk Zach's life, she couldn't risk his life, not after the texts stopped coming. She lifted her head up to look at Ryan, as she gripped the gun tighter. "Lead the way, Ryan. Get us home." She said, frowning slightly as she held the gun tighter.
-Aleks
Stavo buried his face in his hands, muttering, "I don't believe this..." as Brooke lambasted and shamed him.
Getting hotter and hotter, he snapped back at her, "What you did wrong? What do you think this relationship is, a fucking reward system? 'We've been together a full three months. You get to hear this dirty secret of mine!' I understand this past year's got you hooked on amateur sleuthing. We just came back from investigating a drug dealer's hideout. I'm not gonna criticize that. But not everything is a mystery that has to be forced out of the shadows and revealed after relentless interrogation, Brooke! Sometimes things just reveal themselves!"
He paused, letting his words soak over him like the water from the shower. "That's how it happened with Micah," Stavo said, his voice considerably lower. He returned his gaze to Brooke. "I would have told you. When I was ready. When I knew how to talk about it. But you had to get your answers. Because after all this time, I'm still more of a suspect than a person." Stavo shook his head in disdain, looking away and focusing on wetting his hair. Bitterly, he added, "What's new?"
***
Kieran took the small blade from his sister's hand, examining it. "This should do it." Playing with it, he began his lecture. "I don't remember if you've ever gone hunting with Clark, way back when. I went on a few trips with him. His attempt to straighten me out, shoot a few bucks and bond." Kieran smirked, flipping the knife open and closed, open and closed. "It was terrible. By that, I mean he was terrible. Bastard couldn't even shoot a rabbit. Had the clumsiest approach. Afterwards, we went to a Jack in the Box to make up for our lack of cooked hare. He tried to sell me some garbage about how it didn't matter we came away with nothing. It was how we got here. It was the journey that counted."
He chuckled to himself, gently caressing the now open blade. "For once, he was right. Kinda. You see, if hunting were as easy as just killing, you could rush in swinging this knife in the air and run away. But it isn't. Prey is smarter than that. They've got fight or flight understood, no problem. I don't care how high your ex is. Cowards like him know how to run. What's worse, they know how to scream for help. And suddenly, you're the one running." Kieran exhaled, walking to the nearest tree. "So you have to learn to do more than just kill. You have to hunt. Plan your approach carefully. Get in position, don't startle your target, wait for the right moment, and..."
Kieran forced the knife into the bark. "...then you kill." He pulled the knife out, rubbing any residue off with his pinkie. "How good of an actor are you, Dee?"
-Stavo and Kieran
"Smarter than you look," Ryan smirked, "Aight. Way I see it, we've got two ways to go about this."
"Just two?" Zach smiled despite himself.
"Two and a half."
"Of course."
"We take the main road. One good thing about that: you know where you're going. Bad thing is, first place anybody's look. Second place..."
"The woods?"
Ryan looked impressed, "Stick to the trees, cut around till we reach the highway. It's rougher, but better to hide."
"What's the half?"
Ryan shrugged, "You're not gonna like that one."
"Well, tell us anyway. Just in case."
"It's called half for a reason, man."
"But you still mentioned it!"
"Yeah, so I could cover all my bases..."
"Dude."
Ryan sighed, "You know that bus?"
"You mean the one we...got here on? I thought it was all banged up..."
"To them, maybe. Some of us got our diplomas under hoods."
"You think you can fix it?"
"Anything can be fixed," Ryan said easily, "Case in point."
But he didn't make it clear which of them he was talking about.
***
Brooke flinched and hated herself for it.
"You were never a suspect to me," she said at last, "I never wanted you to be. Every time Noah or somebody else said a word against you, I would defend you, even when I wasn't sure myself! Because I wanted to trust you, and I wanted you to trust me, and..."
She shook her head, feeling her tears mix with the water on her face.
"I understand now, I didn't do a good job of it, because...because then you'd know, you'd know that you could tell me these things. It was stupid of me, stupid to think the...the shit with Seth and my father and yours...that I would expect that to get you to open up to me, because I was there with you ever step of that, and I never told you more than I needed to."
She folded her arms, "So I guess we're only as honest as each other."
The water gurgled pathetically. Already cold, it was getting colder. She moistened her lips, "A long time ago...when I was little...there was this kid. His mom used to take care of me, because mine couldn't, and my Dad couldn't be bothered."
Why are you saying this? Why? Why you stupid, it's all over now, it's a long time ago, it doesn't matter...
It didn't. It shouldn't. And yet it mattered to her what Stavo had suffered. Maybe she did owe him, after all.
"I used to spend whole days at his family's farm," she continued, "Jake would be there too. We'd go swimming in the lake, and jump from the hayloft in the barn...he and Jake used to battle it out in the mud after the rain, and I would sit on the sideline and watch, all prim and above it all...until he pulled me by the arm and dragged me right into it. And I would laugh. He knew I didn't mind getting a little dirty..." she smiled a tiny smile, "In the right company."
-Ryan, Zach and Brooke
"That's a sweet story, Brooke," Stavo rasped sarcastically. "I'm sure your childhood was fun and nostalgic and magical. Your regular Norman Rockwell painting. But I'm failing to see your point..."
Brooke knew she shouldn't, but this wouldn't be the first time she'd ignored her better instincts. Her hand flashed out through the water, over the barrier, striking Stavo clean across the face.
"The point is he was mine! My secret, my mistake, my Zio..."
She shook her head feeling tears sting her face, "He was my phoenix. And not a day has passed since he died that I haven't told myself I could've, should've done something to stop it."
She turned off the taps, "But maybe you're right. Maybe we just...can't understand. So why bother, right?"
She stepped out of the shower, going to collect her clothes from the pile where she'd left them.
In an instant, Stavo's cheek burned red, his wet hair whipping to the right. Immediately, he felt an aura of shame fall over him as Brooke trudged out the showers.
However, resentment balanced out the guilt he felt for transgressing. Childish as it sounded, she crossed the line first.
Her Zio... He fumed to himself, struggling to keep it all under control. How dare she.
Stavo let out a heavy but shaky breath and returned to cleansing Sawyer's blood from his hands. He was dirty for long enough.
Drew
Drew was bored with the safe haven of the common hall. He was starting to smell and he was still wearing Terrance's old trashy clothes. His useless father was bad at a lot of things, including watching children,
It's probably why Terrance is dead, lucky bastard.
He thought to himself as he exited the door. He ran over to his cabin, in a brisk and formal fashion. He used to be an all state sorinter on his track team before everything happened. He used to be a lot of things. He grabbed a long sleeve gray tee, and a black short sleeve shirt. He grabbed some black jeans and his grandfather's watch before heading to the showers.
Once inside, he stripped off the old clothing and threw it in the trash, it wasn't needed anymore, and besides, it was slightly too big on him anyway.
stepping under the shower head, Drew twisted the knob and waited for the water to be scorching hot, before finally twisting the cold knob slightly. He liked extremely hot showers.
It was wrong to eavesdrop, but if people weren't bothering with their inside voices, there was really only so much you could do, right?
Poor, pretty, poet, petulant Stavo really was not having a good day. Eli might've told him not to get too dependent on the Maddox family's treacherous brand of real estate. But, no...it was nice that some people, somehow, still managed to believe in love and destiny and all that other beautiful shit.
Once certain that he was alone again, Eli resumed his delicate stripping, tossing his muddied clothes piece by piece into the corner.
At any rate, he supposed it counted as some flavor of victory that he'd found his mother before she fell into a pit of alligators and decided maybe bestiality was a healthy career choice.
With a sigh, Eli padded over to the nearest shower, turning the taps...
And realizing there was another faucet running.
Ah, well, at least it wasn't another domestic dispute.
Turning his head, Eli affected a veneer of casualness he supposed was common to the types of men who used communal showers, "Sup?"
Drew
Drew was very aware of someone in the next shower stall, and when they tried to speak to him, he letnout a silent eye roll.
"Showering, you?" He said stating the obvious. He figured he could fuck wjth whoever it was.
"Shedding my skin," said Eli flatly, brushing a hand through his hair, "Helps to air the scales out every once in a while."
He paused, "Gearing up for your next haunting?"
To Drew's credit, he'd pulled off a fairly convincing act as the Dead Smith Sibling. Eli had to admit, he'd been suitably confused and even a little scandalized before ultimately joining everybody else in a mire of mutual embarrassment.
"I don't haunt, I scar for life." H said and with a shrug added,
"I can't help that this particular life was so short." He said.
"You're the one with the white trash mom and psychopath cousins, right?"
"Guilty as charged," Eli shrugged, "Your Dad's the closeted transplant from Masterpiece Mystery, and your brother..." he shrugged, "Well, you're probably sick of hearing about him."
Drew
"You have no idea how sick." He told the other shaking his head.
"It's like I'm not even a person "
Sometimes he felt like nobody saw him, sometimes he liked that, other times it was lonely.
"You wanna trade sob stories?" Eli asked, "You know my cousin wants to kill herself?" he nodded, "She does. Yanno what finally convinced her? Her psycho killer brother wasn't over the moon to see her again. Or something. Fuck if I know. I exist in the family councils only long enough for everybody to piss on my leg, except my Mom, but she hasn't pissed straight since 2002, so that's no surprise."
He paused, "Not that living in the shadow of living relatives is worse than dead ones. Or better. But there it is. Fun to be included."
Deanna looked at her brother, listening and paying attention to every word and action he took with her knife in his hand. He was right, things were complex enough when Smoke was high, and he did indeed have a way to control what he did with his life. She shifted, watching him a moment, before she closed her eyes and grinned, when she opened them again she looked at her big brother.
"Acting is something I've become quite good at...do you want a confused and frightened Deanna again? Or perhaps the traumatized girl that first came to Lakewood with her big brother? I can do it all Kieran...I've learned the best parts of being able to defy myself for everything."
She had become the best at acting, putting on a different persona, a different part of her that she could hide and ensure nobody knew her true intentions. And having a serial killer as an older brother was only a plus when it came to ensuring that she was the one that most people were afraid of at times.
***
Aleks looked at them both, adjusting the gun in her waistband with a frown.
"We need to get out of here...sooner rather than later. I don't want anyone else to die...because right now we've already lost too many people."
She was frightened, and she knew that things could only end up worse if they didn't get out of there.
"I can do some minor mechanic work...despite the girly appearance of myself."
Something she had never really shared with many others, why would she though? She was a girl who lived in a mansion, a girl who came from money and didn't have to work for anything in her life. But she was in fact very capable of doing things that required her to make a living for herself at times.
"So we just need to get the bus working, and watch our backs at the same time...because we need to keep ourselves alive long enough to get out of here in one piece."
-Deanna and Aleks
Kieran wrenched the knife from the tree. "Easy on the trauma, more on the apologetics. You want to convince this guy that he has the power. That he was right. So you walk up to him, puppy-dog eyes, asking for forgiveness. He buys it and you kill him." He paused. "Question is how you're gonna do it."
Pondering for a moment, Kieran had an idea, "The knife is up your sleeve, close to your shoulder. Bandage or tape it there. When you're close enough for the kill, incorporate some acting. Get bashful and shit, grab your shoulder like you're ashamed of what you're done. What you're really doing is scratching at the tape." He mimicked how it would go, pressing the blade against his right arm. "The tape gives way, knife slides down your arm, into your hand..." Kieran did so with ease. "...and you slash up at him. No need to be accurate. Just get him off guard, knock him on his ass. Once you do that, well...then the therapeutic aspect comes into play."
He proceeded to stab the tree repeatedly, alluding to what Deanna should do when the time comes. Once that was finished, Kieran concluded his lecture. "There's your method. Now..." He peeled some bandages off his arm and applied it to the knife as he said this. Finally, Kieran tossed the blade to Deanna. "...execute it. Rehearse it." He gestured to himself. "Take a shot at me, like we went over."
Deanna watched closely, taking in every little thing that her brother had done. She remembered vividly when she had been attacked and slashed open by the killer, her own brother, so she knew what he meant about the acting and getting close part. She took the knife and bandages, doing just what he had shown her. She than adjusted the hoodie over herself once more, moving to look at him. And cue the acting portion of her part, she looked up at him, shaking her head as she put on the most bashful look she could, which at times was difficult considering who she was.
"I don't know...hurting you...I don't think I could fathom it...honestly big brother." She said, frowning some as she looked down a moment, taking a step closer to her brother. One hand moved to her shoulder, absently scratching it as she shifted on her feet. Cue the slightly timid look she usually carried about herself in the past, "I mean...honestly, you were the one with the brains about things...you were able to execute multiple killings...I'm just a girl." She felt the knife slip down her arm, and the hilt fall seamlessly in her palm, fingers tucking about it instantly as she moved closer. She went to hug him, frowning more as she batted her eyes.
"I was serious when I said I couldn't lose you...but than again, you were the one to hurt me first." And with that, she pulled the knife and went to slash for his abdomen, careful not to actually slash her brother of course, but just enough to slash the clothing and show how close she really was to him.
"No shit," Ryan cocked an eyebrow, "You're a gearhead?"
Zach felt himself almost physically shrinking.
"I can...uh...keep watch," said Zach, "And, I guess, if somebody sees us..."
"Nobody's gonna see us," said Ryan.
"How do you know?"
"They'd have to be looking."
"And they will."
"Not there," Ryan started off.
"Why not?"
"Because somebody already died there," Ryan shrugged, "Only people who'd go knocking around there are crazy or stupid."
"Oh..." Zach hesitated, "Are we crazy?"
"We sure as hell aren't stupid."
-Zach and Ryan
Kieran instinctively leaned back, Nicodemus's caftan suffering the brunt of that attack. "Nice. If I had shittier reflexes, I'd be on the floor. And good for you, your ex smoked his reflexes to shit a long time ago." Rolling his shoulders, he concluded, "I'd say you know what you're doing. Now we need to get Smokey somewhere nice and secluded. No witnesses--basic shit. Only problem is we don't know where he is."
A devilish smirk appeared on his face. "We could track him down from where you last saw him out here. Guy has a scent." He nodded in the general direction of the swamp, signaling for Deanna to lead the way.
Aleks looked at them both, nodding her head. "We should get started than...and I doubt anyone will be looking for us. We aren't high on their priority list...the Wilcox siblings are however." Sure she had never minded either of the two, until one had been revealed as the killer.
She inched closer to Zach, nodding her head.
"Just don't go being heroic Zach...I don't know what would happen if we lost you too."
Hell she had wanted to say the words, if I lost you too, but it wasn't her place. Sure they had talked about it, being together, right? But still she wasn't overstepping anything until they got home safe and sound.
***
Deanna looked at her brother, slipping the knife back into position as she started walking in the direction she had found Smoke and their aunt in the net. "Should be just up the way...and good lord if they are still in that net..." She rolled her eyes, killing aunt Tina wouldn't be so bad either, than maybe the whore would be out of their lives for good. She shifted, moving to stand next to her brother as they walked, part of her wanted to just keep walking, for them to both get the hell out of there.
"Kieran...what if the killer gets me?" She asked him, already wondering why her life wasn't over despite eveything going on around them at this camp. She had been made mince meat once already, kidnapped and attacked brutally, but she was alive, that still threw her for a loop.
-Aleks and Deanna
Kieran blinked. "Well, then he gets you. You die." He patted her on the back. "So make sure he doesn't."
Deanna rolled her eyes, "Good to know that you'll mourn my death. Or will you just go on another killing spree?" she questioned, turning the corner and stopping at the spot where the net was upon the ground. "Well they made it out...and aren't here."
"Yeah, Zach," Ryan smirked, ducking beneath a low-hanging cypress branch, "Don't go being heroic."
Zach slowed down, "Wasn't..."
Stairs, a door, ropes tight against his skin, hot blood, burning, burning...a scream, the look in those eyes, pleading, begging...
"Go!"
"What was that?"
Zach jarred himself back to the present, realizing with a start that he had spoken aloud. Ryan was looking at him quizzically.
"Uh...going," Zach amended quickly, "Wasn't going to. Is...uh..." he managed a smile, "Is what I was saying."
"Oh," Ryan paused, "Yeah."
He looked like he wanted to say more but, perhaps for the better, he didn't.
The bus appeared on the near horizon, an ugly yellow bruise against the mist of the rain. The great shattered window Howard Jensen had been found hanging out of seemed unnaturally noticeable.
"Okay," Ryan nodded deliberately, "Let's see what we've got."
Without further ado, he hopped up onto the lowermost step, the vehicle's whole chassis shaking as he ascended.
Zach looked at Aleks, shrugging, "Uh...ladies first? Or, I...I can go first, if you, yanno...are scared. Not that I'm saying you're a coward, but it's okay to be scared, but I can go first, if you want me to, or else you can go first..."
"Burning daylight, Zach!"
"I can go first if you want," he finished.
***
"Just so," Theodora nodded, stepping back, "But,"
You could always leave well enough alone.
But she hadn't gotten to where she was in this life by letting sleeping dogs lie. She turned to her colleague, folding her arms, "I want you to be honest with me first. As you always have been, as I have always tried to be with you."
She took a step closer, "Don't think I haven't noticed the change in your manner since what happened at the bus. It's natural. He was your friend. But if you feel some sort of way, I would ask you to tell me, as I have been prompted, so many times, to tell you."
She folded her arms, "So, please, Edward, because I cannot pretend to your face. Tell me what you want to say. I have been at this too long to hedge, certainly not with you."
***
"Hey, Phil."
Phyllis scrutinized Tina in the common hall doorway, "What did you call me?"
"I heard Ricky Spanish might've killed that Elf kid."
"Not my jurisdiction."
"Why not? You're the headshrinker."
"Where's Deanna?"
"Fuck if I know."
"Weren't you sent to look for her?"
"Oh, we found her, alright," Tina snorted, "She wasn't keen on sticking around, though."
"Well, that's lovely, isn't it?" she folded her arms.
"So, uh...can I ask you a question?"
"No."
Tina asked anyway, "Why'd you record her?"
Phyllis fixed her with a stare, "Excuse me?"
"Aw, c'mon, we all heard. She was on one of them tapes they had playing. Wasn't it you who told me not to send her ass to a nuthouse?"
"I told you to give her time, space and affection."
"I gave her plenty of space, I tell ya that. Couldn't wait to have her out of my house..."
"People like you stun me."
"People like me, huh?"
"Do you know how many people would love to raise a child?"
"Honey, I raised my child. You might've met him. Sweet kid. My pride and joy. I never asked to raise DeeDee."
"Except you did, or else you never would've come here in the first place."
Tina snorted, "Well...lemme tell ya. Regrets...I've had a few."
Phyllis pushed past her, looking about the room.
"If it isn't my personal healer."
Phyllis turned to regard the other chaperone, "Mr. Smith. How's your eye?"
"Half-pickled by now, I should think."
"But there's no pain?"
"I expect the next time I attempt to weep I'll be in for a real ugly show, but for now, it's only humiliating."
"If it means anything, it wasn't my idea to remove your eye."
"No, no, I know whose idea it was."
"Dr. Langley was convinced it was the only way."
"Dr. Langley is convinced of a good many queer things," muttered Fitz, "He'll get what's coming to him, I tell you that."
Phyllis folded her arms, "I'm looking for Dave."
"Dave?" as if it were some strange foreign word.
Phyllis blinked, and Fitz seemed to understand, "Oh. Evans. No, I've not seen him."
"He's...he's in a bad way. The...the girl's death really got to him."
"It was a nasty business, surely," Fitz paused, "Who was the little thing to him?"
"A great many things," said Phyllis, "I'm sure he couldn't unpack them all if he tried. Not today. Not so soon."
"And...he's in straits?"
"He is. When we were together, he..." she hesitated, "Well, he fairly lost control. It got a bit scary for a while."
"Hm."
Fitz considered, "Then why the devil should you want to see him?"
"I have something for him," she held up the little scrap of paper, Sawyer's poem, "His eyes only."
Fitz eyed it, "Poison pen letter?"
"The opposite."
There was a long silence before Fitz shrugged, "I can bring it him."
Phyllis blinked, "Really?"
"I've two feet still, last I checked. Less the other one ran off when I wasn't looking."
"I just didn't think..."
"Best not. It's exhausting work," he held out a hand.
"If you read this paper, Fitz..." Phyllis warned.
"Why should I? I wouldn't want to strain the eye I have left," he collected the paper, "Ta."
And he was gone.
***
"Don't think about it," Brooke told herself for the hundredth time, moving along the narrow trial between the cypresses, "Don't think about him. It is not worth it. Not worth your time, just...just go back, and tell Noah he was right, and he was wrong, and I was right, and I was wrong, and there are no winners, and no losers, and everybody is an idiot, and I'm the biggest idiot there is, that'll really get a laugh outta him..."
There was a clear, distinct, snapping noise, as of a foot stepping on a branch. Birds went fluttering off into the rain at the sound.
Brooke tensed, her head cocking to the side at the sound. Was that a shape, moving through the trees? She peered off...
"Forget it," she decided, continuing down the trail.
She'd had enough mistakes to evaluate lately.
***
The twig-snapper continued on his own deliberate course. Perhaps following her? He had his own agenda, though, the job he'd been assigned by Theodora Kellerman.
Pedro Sanchez moved on through the trees, plodding over wet, moist earth, presumably keen on his course...
Until, without warning, the ground gave way beneath his boots.
-Zach, Ryan, Theodora, Phyllis, Tina and Brooke
Teague leaned back against the wall, arms folded.
"Like what? That I watched, one of the few friends I have get killed in front of me? That I felt powerless? That I did my very best, and it still wasn't enough?"
He looked his colleague in the eyes and said, "Like it should have been me, instead of him?"