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Part XII: 1988- End of Innocence
"No, but...I'll give it a try."
Jamie gently took Annie from Laura and held her, trying her best to rock her. Laura was right. It WAS harder than it looked.
The bell rang again, insistently. Laura bit back the flurry of profanities that came to her lips, "Just a second!"
It wasn't one of Kirk's friends, nor either of the Devlin parents, nor Pamela herself.
"Hello," the handsome older woman greeted with a due courtesy that in and of itself was proof she wasn't from the neighborhood, "I wonder if this is the address the girl Audrey is staying in."
"Is that her name?" Laura made a face.
"Is she here, then?"
Laura shrugged easily, "She is."
"I was hoping to see her."
Laura considered briefly, "You know, I'm not really supposed to just let people in willynilly."
"Oh, well, in that case, I wouldn't want to impose on anybody..."
"Forget it," Laura stepped aside, "I'm pulling OT already anyway. These are wilderness hours," she started into the house, "Visitor for you."
The woman followed her inside, smiling at the sight of Audrey/Janey/Whoever and the baby, "Hello. Remember me?"
"This lady knows you," Laura accepted the baby back, licking her thumb and rubbing at a possibly imaginary smudge on her forehead, "Don't have too much fun."
***
Once mother and daughter had cleared away, Mrs. Lakotos turned back to her quarry.
"Getting some practice in?" she mimed the act of holding a baby with her arms. The genial smile remained on her face, but there was a certain flintiness to her expression as well.
-Laura and Mrs. L
"You could say that, ma'am," Jamie said, trying not to panic, as she rocked the baby.
This couldn't be good.
"I had wondered how you were getting on," she looked around the house with an inscrutable expression, "After I left you at the clinic, I wondered if I shouldn't have hung around for you after all, just in case. I imagine you got the results you expected?" she paused briefly, clarifying, "From the test."
-Mrs. Lakotos
"I did," Jamie said.
"Ah," Mrs. L nodded, "Congratulations, then," she sat in a luridly colored La-Z Boy recliner, "There was an old folk practice in Epirus, where I was born. Pregnant girls would received gifts and blessings in the name of the Virgin Mary. Before that...long before that...it was the goddess Hera, protector of wives and mothers. By the time I was expecting Leandros, though...well, traditions have a way of withering on the vine."
She clasped her hands together ruminatively, "This is his house? The father?"
-Mrs. Lakotos
"It is."
"I hope you have made an accord with him," she nodded, "Well, I don't have a traditional gift. I didn't even make a cake. But I have worried about you...a young woman in trouble, alone in the world. I sympathize." she had assumed the manner of a regal lady holding court, as if this were her house, "My first pregnancy was not an easy one, and my first love...not much of a love at all. Handsome, but not charming. Aggressive, definitely, and assertive. My friends saw this...but none of them saw fit to warn me about him. It was a different time and a different place. We were expected to take our husbands and be happy about it."
She sighed, "Blessings and curses often come disguised as each other. I will not say I rejoiced when he died prematurely...but there was a relief. A beautiful relief. Until I realized he had left me a blessing, or perhaps a curse, of his own," she made a little gesture to her stomach, "I was pregnant by him."
-Mrs. Lakotos
"Was that...your son?" asked Jamie.
Mrs. Lakotos smiled serenely, shaking her head, "Son or daughter, I do not know. But it was the child of a bad memory, a bruise of a cudgel I could not dodge. I couldn't bear the thought of having lost the man who had cost me so much pain, who had wounded me so deeply, taken so much from the prime of my life. And I realized, if I bore his child, the day would never come when I looked at it and could think of anything other than the suffering its father had inflicted on me. It would be a sorry life for us both... And so, I made my choice. A draught of arnica flowers and a deep, dreamless sleep...and that last bruise faded for good."
She drummed her fingers lightly on the arm of the chair, "Nobody in our little town ever knew I had been pregnant. Shortly after, Leandro's father and I were able to make public our relationship, however shortlived it may have been, however tragically it may have ended. Those few months with him were happier than three years with the man who bruised me. And from that union, I have a son I love more than the world entire. In almost 20 years, I have never once doubted I did the right thing."
-Mrs. Lakotos
Jamie swallowed, as she continued to rock Annie.
"I see."
Mrs. Lakotos cocked an eyebrow, "Do you understand why I am telling you this, girl?" she asked, not meanly, but firmly, "I ask because I don't think you understand very much."
-Mrs. Lakotos
"I understand."
If she's so unhappy with Noah...why keep his kid?
"But...I'm afraid that option isn't for me. I'm sorry."
"You needn't apologize to me," said Mrs. Lakotos, "I never apologized for anything unless I had done very wrong. The fact of the matter is, it is your choice what you do. You must decide, as I had to decide, what kind of woman you want to be. Some men in this world...men like my first husband, potentially men like your baby's father...will seek any means to control others. They can be charismatic and dependable. They will deceive you with strength or charm. They will convince you...and the world, nine times out of ten, will align itself with them...that you need them to survive. In these games such men play, children are just pieces, more tools to exert control."
She got to her feet, "You cannot let yourself become a pawn of fate. Or, I suppose...you can. It is your choice."
-Mrs. Lakotos
"My choice..."
Jamie swallowed. She had to tell someone, anyone, the truth. Or at least as much as she could. She was the master of her fate. Not Noah, not Galdamez...no one.
"Thank you, Mrs. L."
Mrs. Lakotos was already on her feet, readjusting the lapels on her coat.
"Anytime, my dear. Nobody should walk through this world alone."
With that, she left, closing the door behind her.
***
In the adjacent dining room, Laura stepped away from the closed door, letting out a low whistle as she turned over what she'd heard. She looked down at Annie in her arms.
"Well...that explains a lot."
-Mrs. Lakotos and Laura
The night raced by outside the car, a fierce and violent wind buffeting the passengers. Lights from streetlamps steaked through the dark like neon comets, an eerie sonic whistling humming beneath the roar of the Benz's perfectly maintained engine.
"They cry in the dark/So you can't see their tears/They hide in the light/So you can't see their fears..."
Sam eyed the radio, but didn't take a hand from the wheel to turn it off. The silence would give them permission to be alone with their thoughts, and it was understood without saying that none of them wanted to think any further about what waited for them at the end of this.
"Forgive and forget/All the while/Love and pain become one and the same/In the eyes of a wounded child..."
The tires screeched against asphalt as they turned onto the lonely stretch of road over the dried-up stream. The abandoned junkyard loomed like a solid monstrous mass in the dark, a featureless mountain range clumsily thrown together by a careless god. The little house in its shadow seemed unreal as a doll house. There was no light in the windows.
"Because hell, hell is for children/And you know that their little lives can become such a mess..."
Sam didn't cut the engine as they screeched to a halt at the property line. Rolling his shoulders, he stepped out onto the gravel walkway.
"Hell, hell is for children/And you shouldn't have to pay for your love/With your bones and your flesh..."
***
"It's all so confusing this brutal abusing/They blacken your eyes and then apologize..."
Leo collapsed against a stunted tree to catch his breath. Breathing shakily, he blinked heavy tears from his eyes. He lifted a hand to his face, leaving a smear of blood on his cheek. The feel of the tacky substance against his skin brought him to his knees.
"Be daddy's good girl, and don't tell mommy a thing/Be a good little boy, and you'll get a new toy/Tell grandma you fell from the swing..."
***
The door to the Lakotos house or hovel gave easily with the right pressure. Sam charged over the threshold, having doubled back long enough to retrieve a lacrosse stick from the car. The house was quiet, though, and dark.
"Because hell, hell is for children/And you know that their little lives can become such a mess..."
Jason hung back in the walkway, watching Sam and Kirk take the lead. Sam had always rubbed him the wrong way, but he'd never been frightened of him before. Now, though, his anger was so palpable it was practically a physical force. Near him, the quivering Fitz lingered with little regard to dignity, hands pressed over his trembling chin. A sudden cry from him nearly stopped Jason's heart.
A watchful cat had been observing them from a crawlspace beneath the front window. At Fitz's cry, the green eyes blinked impassively and it ran into the night.
"Hell, hell is for children/And you shouldn't have to pay for your love/With your bones and your flesh..."
Fitz's clumsy attempt at a sheepish apology was thwarted in the cradle by the appearance of a figure stumbling from the trees across the lane: Leandro Lakotos, blood on his hands and tears in his eyes.
"No, hell is for children..."
-Sam, Leo, Jason, and Fitz
Kirk hadn't uttered a word the entire drive over, nor did he say anything when broke into the house with Sam. All that could be said was the stone-cold look in his eyes, his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel, the calculated speed with which he grabbed the Gypsy by the collar and threw him into his dresser...
***
Quinn was also silent, though the nervous twitching in his leg and his hyper breathing betrayed a nagging anxiety which he despised. He couldn't look weak, not now. Desperately, he tried to shake off those doubts with a quick cigarette, but his lighter was refusing to light as a harsh wind, uncharacteristic of May in Lakewood, blew at his back. The black cat spooking Fitz didn't help either, as Quinn jumped as well, dropping the Marlboro and all hopes of keeping his cool now.
Fortunately, he didn't have to wait any longer. Out from the shadows came Leo, Sam and Kirk right behind him. The latter pushed Leo forward into the Benz, creating a small dent in the driver's door. But Kirk didn't care. He was doing his damnedest not to let loose now...
No. They had to be smart. Not here.
Kirk snapped towards Quinn, who understood the silent directive immediately. He lifted Leo by the shoulders, chinning towards Jason to help him.
While this transpired, Kirk looked on, breathing deeply, in and out, in and out, fists clenching and unclenching, his eyes following every movement, his ears latching onto every sound, each making an indelible impact in his mind...
-Kirk and Quinn
Jason blanched at Kirk's directive. He looked around in silent appeal, but the only other person who'd yet been singled out, Fitz, was mincing about with his back to the whole thing, as if by turning away he could be absolved of any expectation of participation.
Grimacing, he took Leo's arm, pinning it behind him so Quinn could take the other. He didn't look him in the face.
Sam held the base of his lacrosse stick under Leo's chin, forcing him to look up. There was an ugly mark on his brow; his eyes were only just now getting focused.
"S-she isn't here," he panted at last, "You can see that."
"Then where is she?" Sam demanded.
-Jason, Fitz, Sam, and Leo
"Don't lie to us, man!" Quinn's voice cracked as he tried to play bad cop, though that was more of a pathetic façade than anything else. "Or I swear, we'll..." Kirk raised a hand, effectively silencing Quinn's bravado.
He then got down on his knee, staring Leo down. "The longer you hold out on us..." His words were cold, yet simultaneously laced with a simmering temper, waiting to be unleashed, resulting in a monotone that barely sounded human. "...the worse this is gonna be for you. So tell us..." Kirk leaned in, annunciating each word as if Leo were a child. "Where. Is. Pam?"
-Quinn and Kirk
"I told you..." Leo began, but Sam cut him off.
"Is it her blood on your hands?" his deathly calm had an eerie, disaffected quality to it, "What, she say no to you one too many times..."
"As if you haven't done worse to her."
Sam belted him with butt of the stick. Leo didn't have time to scream, just falling back into the side of the car. The glass of one window cracked. A smear of blood shown violently on the ruined surface.
Jason staggered back, blanching, "Oh man..."
"He's killed her," Sam spoke rapidly, "He's raped or killed her and he won't fuckin'..." he made to drive the base of the stick down yet again...
-Leo, Sam, and Jason
...Kirk caught it before Sam could land another blow. "Not. Here." He shoved the crosse away, continuing with authority, "He doesn't think we're serious. Probably waiting for his mom to come home and bail him out." Kirk looked Leo over, and though he looked pathetic and weak now, he couldn't help but imagine Leo with his sister, touching her, hurting her...
But again...Kirk stopped himself. Just barely.
"Let's take him for a ride." Kirk didn't wait for any kind of agreement as he withdrew his keys; his word was law. "C'mon."
Quinn looked to the others, as if he were waiting on them to follow suit. Somehow, things were moving fast into uncharted waters for him, and he wasn't sure what or if he should go on with this. Then again, it was probably too late to ask himself of that.
-Kirk and Quinn
Sam gave Kirk a look and softened, but only just, nodding as he hauled the prone Leo to his feet. The boy stirred only slightly at the touch, lips parting in a wordless whimper.
"Oh..." Fitz whispered, but he didn't turn back.
"A ride?" Jason asked, "A ride where? Guys, what exactly are we trying to get from this?"
"Answers," Sam said coldly, "Now get in the fucking car."
Jason didn't protest. Leo was loaded roughly into the backseat, Sam then resuming his spot behind the wheel. He turned to Kirk, asking the silent question that may as well have been on all their lips:
Where?
-Sam, Fitz, and Jason
***
It was a patch of nowhere, on the southwest side of Wren Lake. Kirk and the others would often convene there to drink, smoke, and generally socialize, undisturbed by any authority figures who'd intrude on their good time. Moreover, it was their place, where they've expressed the darkest secrets, challenged each other to the stupidest dares, waxed childishly about their wildest dreams, complained and/or dreamed about their girlfriends...
Tonight, though, there would be no such conversations between these friends.
Kirk pulled the car to a stop in the dirt road (if one could even call it that), which eventually became the muddy shore, still littered with beer cans and cigarette boxes of times long past. "Take him out." He turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car, anticipating the others to follow his lead.
Which Quinn did, tugging Leo from the crowded backseat by the arm. "C'mon..." He snarled, though it was still obvious he was attempting a voice that wasn't his. He threw Leo forward into the mud with dismissive distaste, as if he were throwing out the garbage. Whether or not that was out of contempt or guilt or both, Quinn had no time to ponder tonight.
-Kirk and Quinn
Sam closed the car door behind him with a resounding slam. Glowering down at Leo on the floor, he pressed his foot to his chest, feeling him convulse beneath his boot.
"Good," Sam nodded, "Get a nice whiff of that fresh air...it'll clear your head."
"W-where are..." but Leo's eyes focused in time for him to get a bearing of his surroundings, "The lake."
"Oh, he's got working eyes," Sam bent down, "What did you do to Pam?"
Leo looked up at him, trembling beneath the weight. Finally, he met Sam's eyes, "Why should you believe a word I say?"
"Is that an answer?" Sam's eyes were hard and steely, "The boat."
Jason knew he was being addressed automatically and flinched, "Sam..."
"The boat, Murray. Your boat."
"What the hell are we..."
"I said!" he rounded on him, "Get. Your. Boat."
Left unattended, however briefly, Leo began to inch backward on his hands and feet, though his limbs were too sore to move any faster than a hobbled crawl.
-Sam, Leo, and Jason
Out of the corner of his eye, Quinn saw Leo feebily try to escape. "Hey, you..."
But Kirk's foot had already met Leo's face, kicking him onto his back and causing his mouth to flood with blood. Quinn jumped at the sudden violence Kirk employed, the way Leo's body jerked backwards, how he was convinced he saw a tooth fly from the Gypsy's mouth and land in the mud.
Kirk wasn't done, as he knelt on Leo and grabbed him by the collar. "You want to make this harder for all of us?" He said through bared teeth, his grip tightening on Leo's shirt. "Cause believe me, punk, I'm not enjoying myself here." Unprovoked, Kirk punched Leo in the face. "We just want answers..." He punched again, his fist landing square on Leo's nose. "...we wanna know what you did to my sister..." Kirk threw another fist, harder than even he had anticipated. ""...and every time you try to book it, Gypsy, only tells me that you. Hurt. Her!" A volley of blows, one for each of his final words. Whatever self-control he had mustered for the night was beginning to dwindle.
Quinn watched from afar, growing more concerned that Kirk had blown a gasket, that he was getting closer to crossing a line that would get them all in trouble. But he wasn't brave enough to say anything, not when Kirk was like this.
-Quinn and Kirk
Leo coughed brokenly, hot blood dribbling down onto his chin from the broken tooth. He attempted more than once to speak, but each time was kept from forming a word by a spasm of pain.
***
Jason crouched in the reeds at the water's edge, having accomplished the task set for him. The rowboat had been moored where he'd left it, emblazoned with his own blazon 'Jay-Hawk', which had been fodder for all kinds of ribbing in recent months and now only made him feel sick. Had it only been two nights ago that he and Paula had gone rowing on the lake in this boat, Paula dreamily rhapsodizing about how she'd like to make a difference in the world?
With trembling hands, he went through the motions of unmooring the boat from the jetty, bringing it around to the shallows, where the hull scraped discordantly off the pebbly bottom. He eyed Leo and Kirk, wondering if there was something he could do, something he could say that might get some sense back into his friend.
Slowly, madly, he felt his grip on one of the oars tighten. He refused to think about what he was doing, resolving only to take the wooden bludgeon in his hand and act before...
***
"Jason!" Fitz cried out at the sight of the boat. Too frenzied to notice Jason's hand on the oar shaft, he merely minced tentatively toward the waterline, "Jason, he isn't talking!"
Sam pushed him aside, nodding gruffly at Jason by way of acknowledgement, "Stay where you are. We're going on a little cruise."
Jason blanched, which was nothing to Fitz as Sam turned to him, "You and Quinn stay put. Keep an eye on the car."
By which his true implication...make sure we aren't watched...was quite clear.
-Leo, Jason, Fitz, and Sam
Quinn spoke for the both of them. "Sure thing." However, he couldn't hide the uneasiness in his stomach. "G-good luck, man."
Kirk didn't respond, as he had already dragged Leo to the dingy and threw him on board. "You could have made this so easy..." He snarled at their captive, his breath trembling not just with anger...but fear as well. He didn't want to dwell on what he was scared of, for the way he saw it, now was not the time to lose nerve.
-Quinn and Kirk
Leo cried out at the sharp impact, the boat rocking on the water's surface. Jason grabbed for the oars, "G-guys, what are doing here?"
"What you're doing is getting us out on the water," said Sam, shedding his shirt and, with hands and teeth, ripping the flimsy nylon fabric into strips, "And shutting up."
Leo didn't resist as Sam bound his wrists, "I-I'm starting to think this isn't about your girlfriend..."
"You've had this coming for a long time, Gypsy. You think that scrap on the pitch was the end of it?"
"I never did a thing to you..."
"Then where's Pamela?" he leaned forward, "Answer me right now and this all ends."
There was a heavy, ponderous silence. Jason turned his eyes skyward, rowing quietly out from the shoreline. The waxing moon scattered silvery light over the lake's surface.
Leo watched Sam tighten the knot around his wrists, "The last thing I want to do is get you any closer to that girl than you've already been. I'm not that cruel."
-Leo, Jason, and Sam
"Just who do you think you are?!" Kirk snapped, cupping Leo's battered face in his hand. "Acting like my sister's protector when you and I both know she never wanted your company. What gives you the right?" He let go, tending to his now-bleeding knuckles. "If you really gave a damn about her, you'd tell us where she is and leave her the hell alone." Leaning in, Kirk's voice became low and controlled once again. "This is family we're talking about. I don't know how your people handle that shit, but that means something here. So I'm telling you, for your sake and hers, you tell us what you've done with her now."