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Chapter 5: (Sh)It Follows
"You realize of course how bad this looks," Teague held up a hand before Theodora could react. That was a good idea. But still...After some thought he asked, "Have you had any luck?"
Sawyer
"Then I'll join, can't let Stavo go unprotected." She smirked.
Noah
"Zach...Can I tell you something?"
Theodora raised her eyebrows at the sudden appearance of the knife.
She eyed Teague, curious. One of his more equally frustrating and useful traits was his ability to disguise his intent. Did he really think Leslie's story had merit in it?
Moreover, did she?
***
Brooke blinked, "Oh, I...I don't think that's necessary..."
The last thing she needed was to drag this little creature to a drug den. She had enough on her conscience as it was.
"Isn't that so, Stavo?" she prompted meaningfully.
***
"Uh...sure," Zach turned to him, "What's up?"
-Theodora, Brooke and Zach
Sawyer
"Oh I've already decided." She told Brooke, a hand on her hip.
"But it's cute you thought i was asking."
Noah
Noah stared out into the woods,
"I like someone...And I would throw myself into a fire for them, and I'm so scared they are gonna die because i can't solve this."
"Whoa," said Zach, "Uh...I'm sorry man."
He considered, getting a gradual idea, "Does...uh...does she know?"
Noah
He chuckled softly, shaking his head.
"I don't even know, sometimes I they do, and sometimes I'm not sure they do."
Zach chuckled despite himself, "I'm sorry, man. I...I know what's that like."
He sometimes told himself he was over it, that it was okay, that he was fine being her friend, that it's all they'd ever been and that was okay and he probably only liked her that way because he was guilty about Jake and...and even about Will...
But sometimes she would look at him and give that tiny laugh that made her sound so smart and above everything, and she'd call him 'Johnny Football' and she'd thud him on the head...
And he'd realize that he'd been lost to her a long time ago, and it didn't matter how lost to him she was.
"You should tell her," Zach told him, "Just...just to get it out there."
Noah
"I wish it was that simple." he told him. Really it wasn't, he was in everyway the exact opposite of what the girl was into.
"I'm not her type."
"No, I just got started," Leslie rasped. "The plan was to go through everybody's stuff and collect prints, and match it to the weapon. I would trust you guys to do it if you weren't breaking up fights left and right, and if two massacres before tonight hadn't happened." She bit her lip. "So that's my story. Are we good?"
***
"Sawyer, the only way you can possibly protect me is if you take a bullet for me and play meat shield," Stavo replied dryly. "And none of us want that to happen." He side-eyed Brooke. "Most of us don't want that to happen."
And so Stavo was going to turn and leave...but then he looked Sawyer in the eyes, pleading, begging without speaking. He also considered how much longer Sawyer would pester them and probably stalk them anyway so with a beleaguered sigh came a change of heart.
"Look, you can come with us but you stay close and you don't do anything dumb, like run ahead and twist your ankle or some dumb stuff. You read me?"
-Leslie and Stavo
Sawyer
Sawyer smiled brightly and went to Stavo squeezing him in a back breaking hug before taking his arms,
"I'll stay as close as possible!"
"Aw, don't sell yourself short," said Zach, "Dude, you're never gonna know if you don't ask and...well, I'm not saying it's as bad as you say it is, but still..." he shrugged, "You never do know what's gonna happen."
***
"Oh no," Brooke shook her head, "No way. Not gonna happ..."
But she saw the futility of the argument almost at once. At least Stavo wasn't beating her to a pulp.
"Fine," she paused, "Don't you even want to know what we're doing?"
***
Theodora considered, "You understand, Leslie, what a singularly impossible story this is."
She looked at Teague, "One way or another, we'll take that knife off you, if you'll be so kind, but..."
She narrowed her eyes, turning to her colleague, "Perhaps a shorter leash is in order? Merely as a...precaution?"
-Zach, Brooke and Theodora
"I agree, that we should, but..." Teague looked at the girl he had been at odds with since as long as he could remember, "Do you think, with how much it's been handled, there still might be a viable print on there?"
Noah
"Maybe man...Maybe."
Sawyer
"I don't care as long as I get to cuddle Stavo." she said with a smirk when she looked at Brooke.
"Wow Stavo, I didn't know just how muscular you were."
"Shorter leash?" Leslie cocked her eyebrow, feeling a mix of nerves and disgust swell in her gut. "What the hell does that mean?"
***
Stavo bit back his regret as he felt Sawyer cling onto his arm and caught a glimpse of Brooke's stare-down of death. "Oh. Um...thanks." Feeling an immense level of awkward, he gestured towards the tree-line and started his way over there. "Well, let's find this drug den."
-Leslie and Stavo
"You're the expert, I'm afraid," Theodora turned it around, "She's kept it neatly wrapped in the good Mr. Smith's livery, at least."
She looked to Leslie, "I'm not fool enough to expect you to agree with my sentiments, Leslie, but perhaps you can understand that, according to your story, you are either a duplicitous liar or in deadly danger and...in both those cases...it might be better if you were...confined, let's say. For your own safety."
And ours.
***
"But I...I guess I'm kinda talking out of my neck with that one," said Zach, "I've never told..."
He stopped, "Sometimes I wonder if it's for the best, I mean...I know she's happy, at least. And I...I wouldn't want to make it worse for her. I've got an ugly habit there."
***
"Do lets," said Brooke, turning doubtfully to Sawyer, "Look lively."
-Theodora, Zach and Brooke
Sawyer
"It's like we're the Scooby Gang, I'm Daphne, you're Fred, and Brooke's...Scooby of course!"
Noah
"The girl I like is hard not to put on a pedestal, even if she doesn't want to be there." He said.
"Brooke Maddox is a dangerous woman to like."
Brooke looked at her, askance, "First of all, it's called Mystery Incorporated, second of all, there's four of them plus dog. It doesn't work out."
She moved a few paces further, "And you're obviously Scrappy."
***
"Brooke..." Zach did a double-take.
Whoa.
He supposed, maybe, he should've figured that one out, but...
"I...I'm sorry, I really thought you meant Audrey. Guess I should've figured that...was stupid."
He considered, "Brooke's tough. Like, she's the last person you'd think would be, but she holds her own. But there's...I dunno, something...not soft, uh...shiny about her too, I guess. I mean, she's...she's real. Like, a person."
He smiled, "She's really easy to like."
-Brooke and Zach
Sawyer
"Oh look, it can talk Stavo." She giggled.
Noah
"I feel this connection, and I think she might too."
"Don't encourage this," Brooke told Stavo without looking his way.
***
"Then you should tell her!" said Zach, "Seriously, don't..." he paused, "Don't be an idiot. I was a pretty big idiot."
He considered, "It's...it's not really important anymore, but...for a while, once, I thought, maybe...she and I might've..."
He sighed, "It's stupid."
-Brooke and Zach
Noah
"You think I should?" He asked
"You wanna lock me away?" Leslie scoffed. "Are you serious? I'm one of the few people here trying to figure this out! Everyone else is either a manic idiot or just crazy! Y-you can't just lock me up like you did with the actual serial killer?"
***
Stavo smirked, surprisingly all-too tempted to encourage this. "Of course it can. She's Scoob. She talks all the time. Maybe too much but we all have our character flaws." He pressed on, getting into this bit. "I can call up Smoke to cosplay Shaggy. I bet you'd really dig his company, Brooke." His smile faded as he became serious for a moment. "And he does know about drugs. He'd probably sniff them out better than you. Sorry, Brooke."
-Leslie and Stavo
"I think if you don't do it now, you'll never know. Killer or no killer, some things just...happen. Like a chance comes, and you know you can do something..."
He's running up the stairs, down the hall, flings open a door...
"And you let it pass by," he turned to Noah, "Seriously...what've you got to lose?"
***
"Well, naturally, we wouldn't lock you in the same place," said Theodora, "One of the cabins, perhaps. Even your own! And we wouldn't leave you unattended, it's only...if you have been targeted by the killer tonight, Leslie, you must agree it's better that you be kept safe, secure, and without all these likely knives crowded around you."
She paused, "Figurative knives, of course. As well as literal ones."
***
"You are downright bipolar sometimes, do you know that?" Brooke rolled her eyes, turning to Sawyer, "Seriously, he's changeable as my Mom on a juice cleanse. Don't say I didn't warn you."
-Zach, Theodora and Brooke
Noah
"Well I could lose her, she might think I'm just another guy trying to get in her pants."
Sawyer
Sawyer giggled at Stavo's comments and squeezed his arm tighter, looking back at Brooke.
"Isn't he funny though?"
"What? You?"
Zach laughed, "I...I mean, I don't...I don't think she'll think that. You're not like that."
He suddenly found himself remembering what had become of the last would-be couple he had given relationship advice too.
"But what do I know, right?"
***
"Hilarious," said Brooke flatly.
-Zach and Brooke
"I agree that something should be done," began Teague, looking to Theodora, "After I try dusting this knife for prints."
"I'm not bipolar," Stavo replied. "I mean, I'm a million other things. But bipolar? Too obvious. And if there's anything I'm not, it's obvious." He grinned. "I am hilarious. It's just so rare you understand my high-brow humor."
***
"So you are locking me up," Leslie said with superfluous disdain. "And you're going to hijack my investigation?" She guffawed in astonishment. "You fuckers don't even try to hide it. You sit on your ass when the little guy gets hurt and when that little guy rises up to do something, you suppress her and take credit for her initiative. Even worse, you think I'm the problem. And you won't even be honest about it."
In a moment of spontaneous anger, she spat at the foot of Kellerman and shoved the knife handle first to Teague, though admittedly she was tempted to do the reverse. "You'll need prints from everybody to find a match. Good luck getting this zoo to cooperate with you. From what I've seen, though, my expectations are low." She looked to the vice principal. "What next? You gonna cuff me or what?"
-Stavo and Leslie
"Oh, yes, so sophisticated," Brooke turned to Sawyer, "He's got a wicked sense of humor, you should hear about this one prank he pulled with one of my exes..."
***
Theodora winced, "Eventually, Leslie, I trust you'll figure out an enemy when you see one. I hold no delusions that will be tonight, tomorrow, or in my lifetime, but so be it."
She turned to Teague, "I trust you can handle the weapon. I'll handle the..." she turned to Leslie, "...rest."
-Brooke and Theodora
Stavo side-eyed Brooke, deciding to go along with this. "Yeah. I resurrected somebody from the dead. Pretty hilarious."
***
"You can't do this!" Leslie complained. "Y-you're just enabling more chaos because you've got the wrong woman!" She was on the verge of exploding but she had to keep cool. At least relatively.
Perception was reality and the reality Kellerman was seeing was far from pretty.
-Stavo and Leslie
Sawyer
"You brought someone to life!?" She exclaimed to Stavo.
"You must be a genius."
"And totally avoidable," added Brooke, "if only he'd trusted the counsel of one wiser than he."
***
"I think you'll find, Leslie that, however lacking I may be in the fields of deduction, grief counseling, and militia organization, I very much know how to mitigate chaos."
She put a firm hold on Leslie's arm, "And I've been quashing teenage rebellion since before you were born, to no greater sorrow than my own."
-Brooke and Theodora