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Part XII: 1988- End of Innocence
"It's whateva, homey," Quinn waved him off. "Look, you're here because you got the social skills to know who's cool and who's not. Like, you're cool because you know I'm cool, and vice versa." He was slurring his words, but he made a point to keep going. "You're perceptive. Those dweebs on the schoolyard? They're gonna work their daddies' firms the minute they step outta college because they don't know anything outside of that. But you and me? We're smart. We're gonna change the world, because we know how to play the game. We take risks. We network. We're climbing the food chain, until it's just me and you at the top. Read me?"
Fitz almost said that he was lined up to run his Daddy's firm (well, factory, but semantics) the minute he stepped outta college, but he enjoyed the momentary fantasy that came with imagining he didn't need to do that. That he could carve out his own life for himself, independent from that of his father and grandfather and all the other Smiths going back a hundred years.
"Risks..." he sighed, "My governess always beat me at Risk. I had an awful habit about invading the Balkan states. They're right there, you know, it seems someone ought to do something with them," he plucked listlessly at his sleeve, "But I bet you'd be very good. At Risk and risks generally. You're the kind of person people want to follow. I..." he cleared his throat, "I like following you."
-Fitz
Quinn smiled, feeling genuinely flattered. Fitz was proving to be good right-hand man, maybe even a true friend. For all his quirks and oddities, Fitz was loyal. And the way Kirk was with his old lady lately and how wimpy Jason was, not to mention it was a chore to get Sam to give a crap.
No, out of all of these, Fitz was a true friend. "Aces, man. I like fOUAGHHHHH!" And there it was: a bunch of vomit over the railing and into the yard. "Oh God...that was sooooooooo grody. Uggggggghhhhhhhh...." He staggered back to the doorway. "Do me a favor, Fitz, and follow me to my car. I don't feel too good..."
"Oh, it's all that beer!" Fitz fretted, "See, this is why I only had a sip! Just a sip! And if anyone asks me I will say 'I just had a sip', and...your car? Yes, yes, I will take you there. It's late anyway. We'd better motor. Oh, but wait! Don't you remember that commercial with Michael Jackson and the skeletons? Drunk driving kills! We might be skeletons next!"
-Fitz
***
Kirk slammed the door shut behind him, leaving whatever fracas was left over from the party behind him. Not that these paloozas meant anything to him nowaydays. He'd grown numb to it. If anything, it simply became a thing he did, just to keep up appearances.
Whatever you need to do to please the pack of hyenas, eh, Kirk? Oh, you are one bad dude. But that was enough chastising himself. Kirk picked up the landline and began to dial the one person he still gave a damn about.
"Hey, Vicki. It's Kirk.." He heard her answer sluggishly on the other line. "I know, it's late. My bad. Just wanted to check up on you, see how things were goin' out of town. Memphis treatin' ya good?...That's awesome, babe. Stoked for you to come back. I got real big plans, you won't know what's comin'...Much bigger than that. Trust me, I learn from my mistakes. It'll be much better than that. Much better." He chuckled almost childishly, finger twirling around the chord. Conversations like this where things felt simple again, when he was just being himself.
His expression softening, a nagging feeling rose up his throat. "Vicki...you know, I love you, right?...Because I do. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I...Nothing's wrong, Vicki. I wouldn't lie to you. It's just..." He bit his lip, grip tightening on the chord. "I just want ya to know I'm always gonna have your back. Nothing's changed since you went away. And..." Kirk sighed, trying to figure out how to navigate what he was trying to say without dropping the bomb on it all. "You're gonna hear a lotta crap from the guys. The usual stuff, you know?...I know, you never believe it, Vick. It's just...Yeah...I know you got my back, too...To the end, Vick. Just like we promised."
His confidence restored, Kirk smiled warmly. "Thanks a lot, babe. This...this meant a lot. See you soon, okay?...G'night."
And so Kirk hung the phone on the hook, equal parts hopeful and dismayed, the thoughts of that random girl spreading those filthy rumors haunting him. Between the new wave booming from downstairs and the thoughts of this new threat lurking in the back of his behind, Kirk found it difficult to go to sleep.
***
Morning dawned with a pale watery light. A dewy mist clung to the grass around the Lakotos house. Lycas the cat stretched wearily in the doorway, a low feline noise of contentment vibrating in her throat.
In the corner of the room, Leandro looked balefully out the window at the woods outside. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. He didn't move.
"Up, up!" his mother opened the door. Leo whirled around with a start, "It's Saturday."
"It's morning," she emphasized, "And there are things to do."
-Leo and Mrs. Lakatos
Jamie awoke with a start at the voice. And it took her a while to remember where she was.
"Morning, ma'am," She said.
Mrs. L was brusque and to the point, "We will want to be leaving early. If your mind is still made up to go, it is best we go now."
-Mrs. L
"It is," Jamie said, standing up so she could stretch.
"Come on, then," Mrs. Lakotos turned out the door, "There is cold breakfast on the sideboard. If you are hungry, you may eat in the car."
Leo watched her shuffle off, turning to Jamie with a smile, "Hope wherever you're going opens early. My mother doesn't wait," he folded his arms, "Good luck with, er...whatever you're doing."
-Mrs. Lakotos and Leo
"Thanks, Leo," Jamie nodded, "And good luck with your cave."
She grabbed the cold breakfast from the counter and followed the older woman out.
* * * *
"Here it is," Mrs. L slowed the car (a taupe 1970 Olds with an extremely compact cabin) down across from the eerily familiar gothic building, its steeple bell tower and dark eaves looking somewhat ridiculous against the pleasant spring morning, "It is an orphanage, yes, but the nuns operate the clinic from the basement. On the weekends, I sometimes pick up extra work with the cleaning staff here."
She adjusted the bandana around her head, "Will you be alright on your own?"
***
Leo knocked on the door to the Foster house, letting out a high, birdlike whistle in the general direction of what he knew to be Sal's window, unless of course her father had commandeered the place, in which case, he was in trouble.
-Mrs. L and Leo
"I know my way around," Jamie answered, getting out of the car, "Thank you, for everything. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."
Mrs. L nodded, "Hospitality is our way. As I told you, we have no other. Be well."
She circled around toward the parking lot, as if deliberately to give Jamie privacy on the way in.
-Mrs. L
Without another word, Jamie headed into the building, praying she could find her way to the basement again.
It was easier than she thought it might be. But as she reached the basement, she realized that she was lost at that point. Where was the clinic?
"Good morning," a young nun approached Jamie as she reached the bottom of the stairs, which opened into a fluorescent-lit waiting area, "Welcome to St. Mary's Home. Have you signed in yet?"
"No, I haven't," Jamie turned to the nun, "And I was hoping you could point me in the direction of the clinic?"
"You've reached it," the nun gestured around them, "It's early, so there isn't a lot of action. Come, I'll check you in."
She led Jamie to the desk she'd been sitting behind. It was neat and well-appointed. A little icon of St. Mary of Magdala sat on one end. Images of various other female saints graced the walls, interspersed with pleasant landscapes and oil paintings in abstract style.
"Your name, dear?" she asked with a smile, picking up a pen, "Rest assured, it's all anonymous. We just need something for records."
"Audrey Steele," Jamie said, as she sat down in front of her, "And I need a pregnancy test."
"Oh," the nun looked up with a somewhat bemused smile, "Alright. Sorry, if I seem a little surprised. Nowadays, girls just buy one at the pharmacy. We usually only hear from them once things have gotten a little further on."
She got out from behind the desk, "Follow me. Oh," she paused, as if just remembering, "I'm Sister Alice-Marie, by the way."
-Alice-Marie
A chill went down Jamie's spine at the words.
A younger version of the old crone her father ranted about. Which meant, of course, a younger version of her father was likely around...no. It was 1988. He was in the marines right now....
"Right through here," Alice-Marie opened a door to a small examination room. The walls were painting more reassuringly than the waiting room, in warm caramel tones. The cabinets and sideboard were a soft chestnut shade.
"Have you ever taken a pregnancy test before?" she asked as she rifled through one of the cupboards.
-Alice-Marie
"I did, a few days ago," Jamie lied.
"Oh," she paused, "Oh, I understand. False positives, right? Yes, no wonder you came here. I know it must be nerve wracking doing the whole thing on your own. Well, don't worry. You won't find any judgment here."
She produced from the cupboard a slim box bearing a generic pregnancy test, of the sort one might find in any pharmacy.
"Any, er, health concerns?" Alice-Marie prompted, "Change in appetite, nausea, any, er, change in regularity?"
-Alice-Marie
Jamie shook her head, showing no fear.
How the hell was she going to do this?
"Well, there you go," Alice-Marie handed Jamie the test, "There's a connecting bathroom," she nodded to a thin door between the cabinets, "Take all the time you need. I won't be going anywhere."
-Alice-Marie
"That's what I'm afraid of," Jamie thought, as she went into the bathroom, test in hand.
***
Five minutes later, Jamie walked out, and deposited the test in the nun's hands.
"Here you go," She said, before she went to the sink, and started to wash her hands.
Alice-Marie let out a surprised gasp at the action, but resumed a posture of pleasant quietude.
"They usually show results after a few minutes," she said reassuringly. She looked at Jamie thoughtfully, "I suppose you must be nervous."
-Alice-Marie
"You could say that," Jamie said, as she started drying off.
"Well, that's understandable, and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. Motherhood is a huge responsibility. Of course, I know how I must sound saying that, considering," she patted her habit, "But, still, it's not something to be taken lightly. And everyone's going to want to tell you what to do, but I want you to know that you shouldn't let anybody make you feel a certain...Oh!" she gasped, "Oh, look, here..."
She reached out to place a comforting hand on Jamie as she held the test up, revealing two pinks lines, "Congratulations, Audrey," she beamed, "You're going to be a Mom."
-Alice-Marie